Welcome aboard! Meet the lively, hilarious, not-at-all-annoying characters of The Cupcake Express. I won’t list mum, dad, or anyone who can be easily referred to by relation (such as “grandma” or “auntie”.) Main ‘characters’ have two names, minors one. Updates will be added at the bottom (by the way, they don’t all have weird names. I changed them – genius, no? – to retain anonymity. But mostly so they can’t sue me.)
Siblings
- Sparkles McGee – the older of my two younger sisters (three years younger.) She was born six days before my third birthday and has stolen my thunder ever since. Sparkles M enjoys playing sport, throwing tantrums, waking the whole house up at quarter to twelve at night saying she can’t sleep when in fact she had been asleep for two hours and just woken up, and generally setting a bad example for Gumdrop Polka.
- Gumdrop Polka – the younger of my two younger sisters (eleven years younger.) Gumdrop was born three weeks after our return from the Old City. She enjoys jumping on (and off) our ‘pompoline,’ demonstrating her freakishly advanced IT skills, frequenting the Playhouse Disney website and following Sparky’s bad example.
Childhood Friends
- Augustin Jangles – The love of my young life. Read the whole tale here.
- Aisling - She is a primary school friend.
- Kitallina Tink – My oldest and strangest friend (which is saying something.) Attended The Private School. Kit enjoys drawing strange things, saying strange things, doing strange things, wearing strange things and being strange. She is at a different college so you may not see too much of her.
Friendship Group Friends
- Ackersley Fox – Either my soulmate or my arch-nemesis. Jury’s still out on this one. Ackers is a notorious smartypants and overachiever and therefore famous at The Private School and the faculty’s perennial golden child – a fact that will quite possibly be discussed at length - despite her doing absolutely no extra-curriculars for the school (as opposed to, say… yours truly, who did eight last year) and having no life. Her empire is being slowly taken down by Jex and myself.
- Jexella Quark – One of the most unfrustratingly intelligent people I know. Doesn’t really concern herself with trivial things like school but has pretty much quietly set herself up to take over the world. She is very loud with her opinions and was unapologetically athiest in our catholic Private School.
- Lules Bobo - Insane with hair to match - she is an aspiring performer and drama queen. Basically a child trapped in a teenager’s body. Hates logic and bullshit and thrives on showdowns. Constantly butting heads with Jexella, to everyone’s entertainment.
- Matilda Gatsby – Tilly often acts like the baby of the group, which would explain why we treat her as the baby of the group. Sees humour in not understanding (or pretending to not understand) things, frustrating Ackers, Jex and myself to death. She stayed at The Private School while Ackers, Jex, Lules and I jumped ship to the terrifying Public School.
Public School Kiddies
- Hephebia – This strange girl Lules met and introduced me to. She is in four of my seven classes but doesn’t talk to me, even in classes where she doesn’t know anyone, save the random comments she sometimes makes before walking away. We have come to the conclusion that she doesn’t like us very much.
- Minka – We have French together (which is a shame because I think I’m going to drop it.) She is quite quiet. I am quite quiet. So we sit quietly together. I think it is a companionable quiet, though…
*Update* I dropped French. And now have nothing to do with Minka. Except being Facebook friends. Yay. - Nimmo – Surprisingly friendly girl and an acquiatance of Lules. Actually says hello in the halls and sits with us at recess and lunch (incredibly brave thing to do, if you knew our group.) I think we’re going to become good friends. I probably just jinxed that.
*Update* Fully a member of the group. We are on hugging terms and everything. - Sallinger Rollopop - This incredibly strange girl with an almost-lisp who tried for half an hour to argue to our philosophy class that she was not, in fact, a girl. She went to this weird alternative school. It shows.
*Update* However, I love her, she is awesome, and is slowly becoming my favourite person. - Socks – This girl Ackersley introduced to the group. Pretty personality-less, so far… and laughs a lot. A LOT. And offers everyone grapes. All the time. Sad thing is, I think that if she had a group of her own, Ackers would be so there.
- Pringles Soble - Really nice boy (from a private school, of course…) who catches my bus and is in my English class. Actually CAME UP TO ME during our free in the library and made conversation! Amazing! Unheard of! Kind of weird, actually! But still very nice!
*Update* Pringles has actually become, in just over a month, a better friend than most of the people at the Private School, whom I was with for four years, ever were. Even if he is a friend-slut.
*An Update-ier Update* We are a couple. Shhh. *Madly tries to contain excitement at first ever boyfriend (if secret.)*
*Update on Update* Okay, so now we’re properly going out. I’m not really enjoying it. Don’t know what happened. - Nokoko – This girl, actually the cousin of a girl whose family was living in the Old City at the same time we were and then came back to the Private School, is a stalker. The end.
