You remember the last time I said “the end is nigh”? When I was complaining about being in a different Maths class to Ackers and Jex?
I was wrong.
This morning, two and a bit days out from starting at the scary Public School, my darling mother tells me it is quite possible that we will be moving TO A CITY OR A VERY NORTHERN PERSUASION HALF WAY ACROSS THE WORLD. IN APRIL. But only if I don’t have a problem with it, of course, considering it will be right over my senior years.
Yeah, I’ve done it before, but I was seven. I wasn’t particularly tied down to the City we live in as I am now. Oh, and I also wasn’t about to start the two most important years of my school career. The plan, if we do go, is that I do the first term here (but we don’t find out if we’re going or not until halfway through, so I can’t just blow the term. Which is a shame) and then we move there in late April, like I said. And then school starts in early SEPTEMBER. So technically, I could have three and a bit months in the cold and the snow in a random city with no friends or family to talk to. Oh, except Sparkles and Gumpdrop. OH. THE. HORROR.
The prospective city has snow pretty much all year round and moving there would involve me taking the International Baccalaureate (a course which I decided not to do here because of subject limitations and the sheer workload) and therefore having quite a sophisticated knowledge of French. FRENCH?!? I didn’t even want to take CONTINUING French, let alone take the IB.
It’s funny (really; it’s hilarious) to think that this morning I was scared about moving to a school down the road. Now it looks positively wimpy in comparison to the NORTHEN HEMISPHERE. And staying safely where I am (was) seems comparable to childcare.
But one of the things I’m most worried about is having to take the IB. In my experience, the academic standards are much higher in the Northern Hemisphere. Which was awesome coming back to the South (going from slightly above average to the top of every class is great. Except when you have no friends. Then it’s just nerdy) but would SUCK LIKE HELL in senior years. Unless I simply became smarter when I moved back here and it had nothing to do with the hemisphere at all (quite possible.) In which case it would not suck. But still, I wouldn’t do the IB here. So I would rather not do it there either.
Something that’s kind of sad is that I’ve only become really settled and made good friends in the past year and a half. So it would be a shame to lose them, although it is probable that we will be parting ways at the end of college anyway. But I’ve just realised that I’ve really attached myself to the whole idea of The Public School now, more than I thought I had. I’m really looking forward to it. So I would be sad if we go.
But THEN AGAIN, I don’t want to miss out and us not go. Because I’ve always regretted saying ‘no’ in the past. And this would be the last chance for us all to go as a family. And it would be nice to be able to speak french. So I would be sad if we didn’t go.
FUCKING LOSE/LOSE SITUATIONS.
So, I’m hoping that we don’t get chosen to go. Because then I don’t have to decide (then again, that’s what I thought about The Public School. But unfortunately, I got accepted. And deciding to go was, I think, the better decision.)
So I’m really at a loss. Help.
