Are you BAD?
Because I am. I am. I’m a bad girl. I’m SO ba-
Okay, you caught me. I’m not that bad. In fact, I’m rather good. I have never had a detention. I have never failed anything. I have never gone out and gotten smashed like your typical teenager. Sparkles is always complaining about how I never get in trouble from mum and dad. I have been described as a goody-two-shoes on more than a few occaisions.
And frankly, I think this is all bullshit.
It’s not like I lead a shady lady double life or anything, I just don’t exactly take pleasure in being bad for the sake of being bad (…very often.) You see, I am not like Sparks, who seems to enjoy screaming at our entire family for ages on a daily basis - what I suspect is her rationale: “yeah, it sucks to be constantly in trouble and hated by all our neighbours, but at least I can wear the label of ‘BAD’”. I’m not into that.
The things I get up to could get me into far more trouble than she gets in.
The singular difference: I don’t scream about my activity for all the world to hear.
I don’t, as she has, sit down to the dinner table and announce that I’ve used up my mobile credit for the next three months calling my friend in the next state. INSTEAD, I would use my superior intelligence (did I tell you about how I’m the smartest person in the universe?) to do something ingenious, like, I don’t know, not use my phone for the next three months and not tell mum and dad? Hard to cook up, I know. But my list of bad girl credentials extend way beyond phone bills. Which is why I have decided to list them here (because there is NO CHANCE that I will ever forget to log out of WordPress or that anyone else will ever use the family laptop. I am completely safe.)
A List Of Things That Would Get Me In Trouble Should My Parentals Find Out
- I constantly walk (in broad daylight and full sight, of course) between here and the closest shopping centre when mum insists I take the bus. I am convinced walking is safer. We have a very sus omnibus network.
- I pretty much always stay up way past my bedtime. But everyone’s asleep anyway and I don’t basketcase-out when I’m overtired, like Sparky, so I’m good.
- I watch MA15+ movies without the knowledge of my parentals. Shock. Horror. Gasp.
- I have this blog. This is not actually forbidden (but this is mainly, I suspect, because I have never actually asked.)
- On occaision, I enjoy drinking white wine when I’m home alone. Can’t stand the red stuff, though.
- I read books that are worse than any movie mum and dad have ever seen. But they’re books, so they’re harmless…
- I watch Queer As Folk. Anyone who has ever seen this show (the American version) would understand that it should be a major concern for any parent. Especially formerly hardcore catholic parents.
- I never do my homework, as a general rule. But I can get by pretty well without it, so I’m good.
- I never revise for tests. But ditto.
- One of my favourite songs is Craig by Stephen Lynch. If you don’t know it and are not highly catholic, go check it out.
- My favourite book series, if mum and dad actually bother to read it, is actually rather blasphemous.
So yeah. I figure if it’s not dangerous, why not do it? I’m very safety-conscious (mum is kind of paranoid, so it’s drummed into me.) I’m the only one who’s ever going to suffer the consequences, should there be any. So I don’t really see the problem. I always find it easier not to ask permission and just be a bit quiet.
You can always ask for forgiveness later.
